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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24653968">Royal Secretary</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAnonPen/pseuds/TheAnonPen'>TheAnonPen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A guide to getting a promotion in Camelot [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Era, Gen, Just good teamwork all round, Magic Reveal (Merlin), Merlin as an advisor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:40:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24653968</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAnonPen/pseuds/TheAnonPen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "I quit".</p><p>Merlin is settling into his new role as the King's Royal Secretary but of course, it could never just be smooth sailing in Camelot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin &amp; Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A guide to getting a promotion in Camelot [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1779109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>339</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The New Normal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Arthur awoke to a light cough from beside him, not quite the aggressive wake up call he had been expecting the morning after hiring Merlin back but maybe he was lulling him into a false sense of security. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning your majesty,” said a timid voice. Not Merlin then. Arthur was sure he had hired him back, that did happen didn’t it? He didn’t dream it? He forced his eyes open and stretched as he sat up in bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you?” he asked the unfamiliar servant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Elijah, sire.” He replied, avoiding eye contact with the king, a trait Arthur had noticed most of his servants seemed to pick up despite how infuriating it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And why are you here Elijah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was asked to wake you this morning my lord.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who asked you to do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merlin sire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, of course he did.” Arthur pulled himself out of bed and spotted the contract both he and Merlin had signed yesterday, not a dream then. Honestly the ink probably wasn’t even dry yet and the idiot was already shirking his duties. “You can go,” he dismissed Elijah.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sire?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t be needing you this morning, I can dress myself so as long as you’ve brought breakfast - which I can see you have,” he gestured to the plate on the table “you’re dismissed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your majesty,” Elijah bowed on his way out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One last thing,” Arthur called out before he had fully retreated and the servant looked up, “do you know where Merlin is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d imagine he’s still at home at this hour sire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur dressed quickly and grabbed an apple from his plate to eat as he walked, Gaius was still eating breakfast when he arrived.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is he Gaius?” Arthur asked as he entered the physician’s chambers, “still in bed I presume?” he threw open the door to Merlin’s room without waiting for an answer only to find it empty aside from some of Gaius’ supplies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you looking for Merlin my lord?” Gaius called from the main room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unless you can think of anyone else that wouldn’t turn up on his first day back at work?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He doesn’t live here anymore, he’s probably still at home in the lower town.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His-? Oh yes, of course,” Arthur cleared his throat to hide his embarrassment, “I knew that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He told me about the new contract, that was very generous of you sire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, well,” Arthur rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, “he wasn’t totally useless all of the time I suppose. But I did at least expect him to turn up to work this morning, where in the lower town?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About three doors down from the queen’s old house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Gaius.” Arthur bade Gaius goodbye and left, it wouldn’t really do for the king to be chasing his servants down in the lower town but if he wasn’t going to come to the castle Arthur didn’t really see what choice he had. Actually come to think about it, was Merlin still a servant? He wasn’t really sure where the new role left him, granted he still had his previous duties but now his unofficial ones where official too. Arthur had been so glad when he’d found a title that might be more fitting that he hadn’t spent that long working out the details figuring that would happen naturally as they slotted back into a rhythm. Luckily he only had to go as far as the bridge out of the castle before spotting a familiar mop of dark hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merlin!” He yelled and Merlin’s face popped up above the crowds with a wide grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning!” He called back as he made his way over, “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What am I- What are you doing here you oaf?” Arthur rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And here I thought you were going to be nicer to me now,” Merlin said as they turned back towards the castle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea why you would think that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah that was my mistake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to answer my question?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re insufferable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Most people find me charming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Most people are wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a very nice way for a king to talk of his subjects.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Mer</span>
  </em>
  <span>lin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was on my way to work, obviously. Or have you changed your mind?” Merlin was unsuccessful at hiding the worry in his voice at this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be thick Merlin of course not. Did you miss the part about you still having to keep up with your old duties?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you miss the part where you said I was allowed to delegate those parts?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said you could delegate the unsavoury bits, mucking out the stables, doing laundry. Which you shouldn’t have actually been doing yourself anyway by the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what makes you think that your mood in the morning is in any way savoury?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright amendment, you can delegate any of your previous official duties as long as it doesn’t mean I have to put up with some boot licking substitute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I signed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Technically the contract you signed listed all of your old duties - official </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> unofficial - as your responsibility so if you want to play that card you don’t get to delegate anything.” Arthur stopped on the steps to the castle as he noticed Merlin giving him a strange look, “what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You missed me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be daft Merlin, I’d just need someone that doesn’t try to get me drunk first thing in the morning. Did George bring my father that much wine?” Arthur said as he entered the castle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you’re just a lightweight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coming from someone that would lose a fight with a light breeze?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well we can’t all be so… </span>
  <em>
    <span>stocky.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“”Sounds awfully like you’re asking to visit the stocks there…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll quit again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you won’t”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No I won’t,” Merlin dropped the playful tone, “I mean it Arthur, I never should have done it the first time. I wasn’t lying when I said I was happy to be your servant until the day I died, I betrayed that when I left and I owe you an apology for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you don’t. You’ve always told me when I’m being an arse Merlin, you’ve never apologised for it before and I don’t want you to start now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s not fair, you weren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>an arse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merlin-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were also a clotpole - ”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here we go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“- a dollophead -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get the picture.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ - a prat -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve made a terrible mistake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To the surprise of no one both Arthur and Merlins settled back into their routine straight away. Arthur had been a little concerned that he would find it all too easy to fall back into the bad habits that had driven them apart previously but it turned out that now Merlin didn’t count as a servant it was a lot easier to publicly accept advice from him. He’d always known really that he gave good counsel but now that he was more willing to actually take onboard what he was saying Arthur realised just how insightful some of his remarks could be. A word he never thought he’d associate with Merlin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For his part Merlin had been concerned that Arthur would go too far the other way, that he would be so careful in trying not to drive him away again that he would treat him completely different. He shouldn’t have worried though, just because Arthur was actively seeking his opinion now didn’t mean he mocked him any less. In fact it just felt as though the barrier of class that had always stood between them was starting to lift, whilst they both always knew they were friends now they were actually able to act like it more freely. In rare moments Merlin almost found himself resenting his magic for representing something that would eventually bring all this crashing down. He didn’t let himself dwell on those thoughts though, it wasn’t worth thinking like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What did come as a surprise though was how easily accepted Merlin’s new position seemed to be within the rest of the court. There was a small minority that struggled with the idea that a servant might have something to contribute but a few words from Gwen and their protests died pretty quickly. Merlin even found he had support from some unexpected places, Sir Pendry was not best pleased that the insolent servant that had shouted at him previously had been raised to a higher station and as such took every opportunity to disagree with Merlin’s suggestions or views regardless of how good they actually were. During a council meeting in Merlin’s second week the discussion turned to taxes, after hearing reports (from Merlin) that some of the lower income families in the citadel were struggling with the basic tax charge Arthur had opened the floor for suggestions as to how to improve the situation without risking the financial stability of the court. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t we use a proportional model rather than flat rates based on a hundred different factors no one can ever remember?” Merlin suggested, it was hyperbole of course and he knew very well the way tax was currently calculated. It was the same from peasant to lord and based on everything from household income to how many windows a family had in their house. “If you collate all sources of income for an individual, perhaps making allowances for dependents such as young children, and take a proportion whilst ignoring things that really have no representation of usable wealth it would leave everyone with enough to live on and very rough estimates suggest it would be more than enough to sustain the court and public services.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ridiculous,” Pendry scoffed from across the table, “if you tax as a proportion of someone’s wealth then the nobility would end up paying far more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t see what’s ridiculous about that, they have far more to spare than your average peasant family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you would think that wouldn’t you,” he huffed earning a few dirty looks from specific knights, “this is why a born peasant can’t possibly contribute anything to these matters, you just can’t understand the hidden costs with maintaining an estate that make it impossible for nobility to pay anymore than they already do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whereas I’m sure you’re an expert on the everyday costs a peasant faces Philbert?” Lord Gibson interrupted Pendry much to Merlin’s surprise. He had been one of Uther’s lords so him challenging a knight in defense of Merlin’s suggestion was unexpected to say the least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, maybe he has a point,” Arthur mused and Merlin frowned at him, “maybe a peasant just shouldn’t have any say in government. What do you think, Guinevere?” He turned pointedly to his wife as there were a few poorly hidden chuckles around the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that if any of our people are struggling it’s our duty to at least investigate other avenues,” she gave Arthur an indulgent smile for her part in pressing his point home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” Arthur said and turned to the head of the treasury, “Lord Roberts, will you draw up some figures on our different options? We can discuss it next time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course my lord,” Roberts nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excellent, then I think we’re done here. Dismissed.” Arthur waited until everyone had trickled out before turning to Merlin, “when did you learn so much about taxes anyway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have literally been organising your reports since your father was alive.” Merlin responded without even looking up from the notes he was reading.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merlin those were confidential documents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I’m sorry, would you prefer I didn’t know what I was talking about?” He fixed Arthur with a stare worthy of Gaius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not the point.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look it’s not my fault if you just left them strewn everywhere, we both know you would have complained if I hadn’t tidied them up. Anyway you’re going to be late.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Late?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re hosting a lunch for the blacksmiths guild.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit, I haven’t had time to write-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your speech?” Merlin asked, handing him a bundle of papers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Arthur muttered, skimming the pages.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just try not to mention that your favourite sword is hundreds of years old and you pulled it out of a rock, it won’t go down well.” Arthur hummed noncommittedly, “and don’t worry about the small talk, Gwen’s going too so you can leave that to her because she’ll actually know what she’s talking about.” Merlin finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now hold on-” Arthur began to interrupt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We both know she’ll handle it better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah she probably will, did she read the speech?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously, I’m not as much of a fool as you like to make me out to be.” Merlin rolled his eyes and gathered up the papers in front of him, “now you really are going to be late.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright I’m going, I’m going.” Arthur held up his hands and left.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was really eager to get a start on this! Very much enjoying writing Merlin just generally bossing it in his job because we all know he did that already. Also appreciation? Respect? We love that here.</p><p>If you've seen The Crown my vision for Merlin at this point is basically Camelot's answer to Tommy Lascelles.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. History Repeats Itself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When a child is accused of magic Arthur must consider whether he can bring himself to follow his own laws.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur knew he had promised to listen to Merlin more but really the other man had to be milking it by now, had he always prattled on this much?</p><p>“-and these are amendments to existing trade details that need your sign off,” Merlin said as he unloaded another stack of papers onto the desk from the pile in his arms, “and this is a request from Queen Annis to allow a contingent of knights to pass through on their way north, and these are the threads that are going to fix your marriage, and this is-”</p><p>“Wait a minute Merlin slow down,” Arthur interrupted, “threads?”</p><p>“The threads? From the visiting merchant in the market? Colours never before seen in Camelot made of the finest silk? You’re going to give them to Gwen instead of pulling up all the flowers in the kingdom and she’s going to think you’re very thoughtful and forgive you for throwing me out? You’re welcome?” Merlin said as if this should be ringing any bells.</p><p>“That’s… not a horrendous idea.” Arthur conceded.</p><p>“That’s what you said yesterday when I told you about them,” Merlin rolled his eyes and dumped the rest of the paperwork in front of the king so he could start straightening the bedcovers.</p><p>“We have never had this conversation before.”</p><p>“We definitely have because the bursar said I had to get your permission before spending so much on haberdashery.”</p><p>“Merlin you can’t just go round spending my money.”</p><p>“Well someone has to and you wouldn’t know what to look for anyway. Besides you can afford it, I’ve read those reports.” He nodded to the papers on Arthur’s desk.</p><p>“That’s not the point-”</p><p>“Are you really going to put a price on the queen’s happiness sire?” Merlin said dramatically, “oh well if you insist I suppose I can try and barter for a refund and-”</p><p>“No!” Arthur said too quickly snatching the box off the desk as Merlin reached for it, “I mean - ahem,” he cleared his throat, “I’m sure they’re fine just… ask next time.”</p><p>“I <em> did </em>ask and you said just to do what I wanted but to stop wittering on about embroidery,” Merlin went back to straightening the room but kept muttering, “honestly and here I thought I was going to be listened to more now but noooo obviously not-” Arthur just rolled his eyes and tuned him out as he turned his attentions to the trade amendments. They continued like that - both going about their work as Merlin’s grumbles graduated into general gossip from around the castle - until they were interrupted by a knock at the door. </p><p>“Enter,” Arthur called, looking up from his work.</p><p>“Your majesty,” the guard bowed as he entered, “there’s been an arrest, a sorceress was caught in the lower town.” Merlin’s head snapped up.</p><p>“You have the arrest report?” Arthur asked and the guard nodded as he handed it over, “good, you can ask Sir Leon to schedule a trial for the morning.”</p><p>“Yes my lord,” the guard gave a small bow once again as he backed out of the room and shut the door behind him.</p><p>“The lower town,” Merlin mused as he continued with his work trying not to sound as nervous as he felt every time magic was brought up, “that’s… close. Closer than any magic user has been caught in a while.” </p><p>“Yes well, I haven’t exactly been as aggressive as- gods.” Arthur didn’t finish his thought as something on the report caught his eye.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Here,” he held the paper out for Merlin to read as he ran a hand over his face. Upon reading Merlin could sympathise with his reaction, the arrest was of a six year old girl who had been caught using magic to make soap bubbles bigger so she could pop them as seen by a street full of witnesses. </p><p>“Arthur this is a child,” Merlin said blankly, for once stuck for words that might help. He had been witness to Uther’s willingness to execute a child the second magic was mentioned but he knew Arthur was a better man by far. He also knew, however, that as king he was still bound by the constrictions of the law and even if he didn’t want to there was only one punishment he would be allowed to hand out. There had been a very small number of executions for magic since the beginning of Arthur’s reign and in every case the accused had been guilty of using their magic for some other crime, if someone murdered a person with magic they were still a murderer after all. But he’d not been faced with a situation like this so far.</p><p>“Yes, thank you for stating the obvious Merlin I can read,” Arthur snapped, snatching the paper back only to give up on reading it again in favour of moving to stare out of the window.</p><p>“What are you going to do?” Merlin asked quietly.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Arthur muttered.</p><p>“You can’t execute her, she hasn’t done anything wrong!”</p><p>“She practiced magic.”</p><p>“She blew soap bubbles.” Merlin crossed his arms, “the only thing that’s dangerous to is dirt.”</p><p>“It doesn’t matter what she did!” Arthur raised his voice and turned to face Merlin, “there were seven witnesses, I have no way to pardon her that doesn’t end in the court questioning my ability to rule.”</p><p>“I would’ve thought sentencing a child to death would do that too-”</p><p>“Merlin,” Arthur growled a warning.</p><p>“You <em> can’t.” </em></p><p>“I know,” Arthur sat back down in his chair and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling as if hoping to find an alternative answer, “but what other choice do I have?” Merlin floundered for a response but wasn’t fast enough, “leave me” Arthur said.</p><p>“Arthur-”</p><p>“Get out Merlin.” Merlin sighed and picked up the basket he needed to take to the laundry but turned back as he reached the door.</p><p>“There’s always a choice, even if you don’t want to see it.”</p><p>Arthur tried to turn his attention back to his work but with little success as he ran through the outcome of every option in his head. If he just let her go then the more hardline members of the council would use that as ammunition to paint him as weak, they’d pressure him with how his father would never have done something like that. They would be right in that regard as his father had never been known to just let someone go when there was irrefutable proof of magic. In fact he hadn’t even needed the proof to be all that strong if Arthur was being honest. He’d seen his father order pyres lit for those younger than the girl currently in his dungeons but even from a young age something about those occasions had just never sat right with him. If magic was a choice made by those that are evil and hungry for power then how did a six year old end up with it? But he’d known better than to ask those questions when his father was king and now it was left to him to make the decisions. He couldn’t do it. He knew that much, he absolutely could not order the execution of a child for playing. He could almost hear his father’s voice telling him that if he didn’t kill this girl now then she would come back in the future to work against Camelot but he could not judge someone on what they might do, only what they already had. He couldn’t execute her, and he couldn’t pardon her. He needed a third option. He needed to see her.</p><p>The noon bell began to toll drawing Arthur from his thoughts, he had to move quickly before Merlin came back with his lunch. He made his way down to the dungeons, feeling far too much like he was some intruder sneaking about the halls than a king traversing his own castle, and slipped past the guards on duty with a nod. He’d always hated it down here, his father hadn’t been adverse to using it as a punishment for Morgana or him if they misbehaved and the dank stone always brought back unpleasant memories. Morgana had spent a lot more time down here, their father using it to try and control her well into adulthood (Arthur stifled a snort at the memory of how well that had used to go) but he had spent his fair share of time here too. One night when he was 10 his father had brought him down here without provocation, he’d been told he would spend a full night in a cell so that when he was king he would know what he was sentencing people to. It was very high on Arthur’s list of the worst nights of his life and he tried not to dwell on it. It had been almost unbearable to spend that amount of time down here at that age when he knew that eventually his father would come back for him, he dreaded to think what it must be like for the young girl. She was in the cell at the far end, it was different to the others in that instead of bars it was completely walled in save a thick wooden door. It was the cell that Arthur and Morgana had occupied when they were sent down here and he knew why it had been used in this case, it was the only one with shackles small enough for a child. </p><p>He peered through the barred window in the door to see the small shape curled up on the floor, he could hear sniffling. He unlocked the door and entered the cell. The sniffling stopped and two large green eyes met his, she was tiny even for her age. She had dark hair and her clothes had clearly been mended several times, but she was clean and her hair was pulled back in what was probably once a neat plait. She was clearly loved very much. She shuffled back from him until her back hit the wall, the chains attached to her wrists clinking with her as she did. She was quite obviously terrified but was trying to hold back her hiccupping sobs.</p><p>“Hey, hey now,” Arthur said gently as he knelt down and tried to appear as unthreatening as possible, “it’s ok you don’t need to be scared.” Alright he didn’t need Merlin there to tell him what a stupid thing that was too say, obviously she was petrified she was chained up in a dungeon. “I’m not going to hurt you,” also maybe not the right thing to say, Arthur thought, given what might happen tomorrow. This did seem to calm her slightly though as her breathing settled. Arthur moved across and unlocked her wrists, she wasn’t exactly a threat. “What’s your name?” He knew her name of course it was in the report, but he now he was here he wasn’t so sure what he had hoped to gain from this visit. Had he been hoping to come down here and find a tiny version of Morgana? Someone evil and twisted so it would make his decision for him? In fact she did actually look a lot like Morgana but that just dredged up memories of when she was this young and would come to him crying after a nightmare but thinking of that would only make this harder.</p><p>“Jessica,” a small voice replied. </p><p>“Hi Jessica, I’m-” he faltered, perhaps telling her he was the king wasn’t the best tactic if he was trying not to scare her, “-William.” He finished after a pause, remembering his cover name from a tournament many years ago.</p><p>“I can’t shake your hand,” she said.</p><p>“I’m sorry?” Arthur frowned in confusion.</p><p>“Mama said that it’s polite to shake hands when you meet someone new but Papa said it doesn’t if they’re boys because I’m not allowed to talk to boys until I’m at least really old, “she explained as if it were obvious. “Unless they’re knights, he said I’m allowed to talk to the knights because they’re nice and will look after me, are you a knight?” </p><p>“Yes I suppose I am,” Arthur said with a small smile as he moved to sit cross-legged on the floor opposite her, “your father’s right about the knights it’s their duty to look after everyone in the kingdom.”</p><p>“Papa said it was different now, that I had to be really careful and shouldn’t go near them because it’s not safe. Mama told me I shouldn’t play like that in the street because the men from the castle would take me away but I just really wanted to show Charlie that I could make bigger bubbles than him but Mama was right and they did take me away and now I have to see the king and he’s going to- going to,” her voice rose throughout this as she became more agitated and began sobbing again. Arthur froze for a moment, he had never been sure what to do when presented with a crying child.</p><p>“There now,” he reached out and gave her an awkward pat on the head, “no need to cr- oof.” he was cut off as she latched onto his small gesture of affection and threw herself into his arms, still sobbing. </p><p>“I just- just - I just want Mama.” She choked out between sobs. After his initial surprise he brought his arms up around her and began to gently rock until she calmed slightly, the movement coming surprisingly naturally to him. </p><p>“Come on now it’s ok, you’ll see her again,” he found himself saying, “the king won’t hurt you.” He pulled a confused look that she couldn’t see at his own words there as he made promises he still hadn’t thought of a way to keep.</p><p>“How do you know?” came the muffled reply as she had now buried her face in his chest.</p><p>“Because if he tries you can just tell him William of Deira said he couldn’t.” Honestly Arthur didn’t know where this stuff was coming from anymore but if it brought her some comfort whilst he tried to think of a plan it didn’t matter, “he listens to me.” She looked up at him and Arthur nodded in a way that he hoped looked comforting. He sat with her for a few more minutes before attempting to extricate himself.</p><p>“Don’t go,” she pleaded as he stood up.</p><p>“I have to,” he said, “but don’t worry no one’s going to hurt you, I promise.” He meant it as he said it and he already had half a plan formed in his mind. He couldn’t bring himself to put the chains back on her wrists before he left and as he made his way out of the dungeons he instructed the guards to make sure that someone brought her some food before sun down. </p><p>Merlin was waiting with lunch when he got back to his chambers.</p><p>“I can’t execute her,” he said as soon as the door was shut.</p><p>“You can’t.” Merlin shook his head and poured some water into a goblet for him, “Do you know what you’re going to do yet?”</p><p>“I’m not going to do anything Merlin,” he said as he sat down at the table in front of the plate, “you on the other hand…” he gave him a pointed look.</p><p>“How did I know you were going to say that?” Merlin shook his head as he picked up a piece of bread from his own plate, since starting his new role Merlin had begun sometimes joining him for meals. As a servant he had always been entitled to meals from the kitchen - admittedly not the same as would be served to the royal family - but had instead seemed to prefer just stealing from Arthur’s plate. Arthur had drawn the line when presented with a single tomato for lunch one day and just told Merlin to start bringing two plates up if he was hungry. It was a good time to discuss current affairs anyway and it was nice, in a way, Arthur hadn’t consistently had company at meals since he was a child. </p><p>They spent the rest of the meal discussing the plan before heading their separate ways, Merlin to make preparations and Arthur to go and pretend he had no idea what was about to happen.</p><p>---</p><p>“Mordred!” Merlin called as he hurried down the corridor after the knight, “I need a favour, but it’s kind of a big ask so it’s ok if you want to say no.”</p><p>“What do you need Merlin?” Mordred asked.</p><p>“Not here,” Merlin glanced around and then pulled him into a room he knew would be empty, “you’ve heard about the girl that was arrested today?” he continued after shutting the door and placing a subtle ward so they wouldn’t be disturbed.</p><p>“Of course, are you breaking her out?”</p><p>“No I’m- well ok yes actually I am, how did you guess?”</p><p>“Wouldn’t be your first time sneaking a magical child out of the city,” Mordred raised an eyebrow pointedly.</p><p>“Yes, good point. That’s why I wanted to talk to you actually,” Merlin continued, “do you know where the closest druid camp is?”</p><p>“I believe there’s one just a few miles from the citadel but it’s hard to tell from inside the walls, I can feel their paths in the woods but that connection is more blocked off here.”</p><p>“Right, ok. Do you think you could pinpoint it on a map?”</p><p>“Why would I need a map?”</p><p>“Well you wouldn’t but I will, I can’t do all that,” Merlin waved his hands about non-specifically, “stuff.” Mordred didn’t bother to hide his snort of laughter.</p><p>“Maybe you should learn, <em> Emrys?” </em></p><p>“Oh who’s got the time with trying to keep Arthur alive? Anyway, could you put it on the map.”</p><p>“No you misunderstand me, I’ll take the girl to the camp.”</p><p>“Oh no, Mordred I couldn’t ask you to-” Merlin protested.</p><p>“You’re not asking me, I’m offering. I’m always glad to help you and to assist with something like this feels like a natural cycle, besides Arthur will suspect me far less than you” Mordred said sagely.</p><p>“Arthur already knows, it was his idea. He doesn’t want to execute her but can’t justify letting her go, he can however make the worst search party you’ve ever seen after she ‘escapes’.”</p><p>“Even so, we’ll have more chance of success if there’s two of us.”</p><p>“If you’re sure...”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>“I’ll get the girl and meet you at the grate we snuck you out of, then you can take her and her parents to the camp - you’ll need to get them from the lower town but I’ll make sure they’re expecting you. Make sure you’re spotted around the castle a bit in the evening so you can have an alibi.”</p><p>“I won’t let you down Emrys.”</p><p>“You really have got to stop calling me that.”</p><p>---</p><p>Surprisingly the plan went off so smoothly that it wasn’t until the warning bell woke the inhabitants of the castle the next morning that anyone even noticed Jessica was gone. Merlin strolled into the courtyard as Arthur was sending off a search party made only of his most incompitant knights. </p><p>“You’re late again Merlin.” Arthur said as the other man joined him.</p><p>“Good morning to you too, I’m exactly on time.”</p><p>“I’m up, therefore you are late. Doesn’t matter what time it is.”</p><p>“Well it’s not like I can hear if a warning bell sounds from where I am now.”</p><p>“That doesn’t really sound like it’s my problem.”</p><p>“I don’t know, you seem to be the only one that has a problem having to dress yourself.”</p><p>“Merlin-” Arthur began but shook his head when he saw the grin on his friend’s face, “I take it our plan was successful.”</p><p>“Our plan? I seem to remember Mordred and me doing most of the work.”</p><p>“Yes well I can’t risk being seen- wait a minute what do you mean Mordred?”</p><p>“Oh didn’t I mention that bit?”</p><p>“I want you both in my chambers by the time I get back,” he paused when Merlin didn’t move, “<em> go </em>Merlin.”</p><p>Less than twenty minutes later and Merlin was really starting to regret telling Arthur about Mordred’s involvement.</p><p>“I can understand why you might have wanted some back up,” the king was saying, “but I thought you would go to Gwaine, or Lancelot even. You know, someone that’s used to-”</p><p>“Breaking the law? Risking banishment?” Merlin interjected.</p><p>“Yes!” Arthur said, “Wait, no! That’s not what I meant. It’s just,” he sighed and turned to Mordred, “no offence Mordred but you are still very new and I just thought Merlin might go to one of the more experienced knights.”</p><p>“You know when you say no offence it doesn’t mean what you say isn’t rude,” Merlin muttered.</p><p>“None taken sire,” Mordred said ignoring Merlin’s comment, “but I suppose I am technically the most experienced knight in this regard.”</p><p>“In sneaking children out of Camelot and into druid camps in the middle of the night?”</p><p>“You know you didn’t seem concerned about my experience last time we did this,” Merlin looked pointedly between Arthur and Mordred.</p><p>“That was different,” Arthur spluttered.</p><p>“Yes exactly,” Mordred nodded, “I got to come back this time.”</p><p>“I don’t follow.”</p><p>“Well because last time we snuck a child out of the city like this it was Mordred?” Merlin prompted slowly, sharing a confused look with the knight.</p><p>“No that was that little boy that Morgana had hidden in her chambers,” Arthur frowned.</p><p>“Oh,” Merlin said softly.</p><p>“Oh goddess,” Mordred said, sounding slightly more panicked.</p><p>“I’m sorry Mordred.” </p><p>“I thought you knew sire.”</p><p>“<em>I </em> thought he knew too, I mean really Arthur it was pretty obvious.” </p><p>“That was you?” Arthur said in a shocked voice, staring at Mordred as if he was seeing him for the first time.</p><p>“Yes,” Mordred nodded meekly.</p><p>“But that means you’re- you’re a druid?” Arthur frowned, “and you knew?!” he turned to Merlin.</p><p>“Well yes,” Merlin said, “but in my defense I assumed you did too, he doesn’t look that different.”</p><p>“I did not.”</p><p>“Clearly.”</p><p>“Merlin-”</p><p>“What? I’m not the one that knighted him and honestly I’d say him working for Morgana was way more of a red flag than the druid thing.” Mordred shot Merlin a look at this who had the good sense to at least look a little guilty at bringing that up.</p><p>“Sire please you have to know, I would never do anything to hurt you or Camelot. The people that raised me were peaceful and-” Mordred stopped talking when Arthur held up a hand.</p><p>“I just- I need some time to think,” he said after a pause and the other two nodded but didn’t move, “that means you’re dismissed,” he prompted. </p><p>“Of course my lord I understand, I’ll be out of the citadel by noon. I just need to gather my things and-” Mordred said.</p><p>“What? No, no you don’t have to leave,” Arthur sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “I’m not banishing you Mordred I just need some to process this.”</p><p>Both Mordred and Merlin left Arthur to his thoughts, and he sank into a chair at the table. He didn’t even know how to begin to handle this one.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Anyone else think it was ridiculous that Arthur never seemed to draw the connection between adult Mordred and child Mordred? Ok but I love the idea of Merlin and Mordred working together it brings me so much joy they could've been such a great duo and we were robbed. I've also been really feeling the idea of Arthur being far more like his mother (which I think is practically canon anyway) which is what inspired his interaction with Jessica. </p><p>Sometimes I wish I could share my planning documents for these fics because Arthur's reaction in my plan was just the Pikachu shocked meme and I'd forgotten about it so spent a while just cracking up at that when I came back to write this chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Paradox</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Recent events cause Arthur to reconsider things he knows to be true.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So,” Mordred leant on the fence around the training field next to Merlin, “it’s been a week and I can’t help but notice that my head is still attached to my shoulders.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew you were the most observant knight.” Merlin said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But if that’s going to change I’d appreciate a heads up, you know, get my affairs in order.” Mordred’s voice sounded casual but Merlin could see the undercurrent of fear betrayed in his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s brooding,” Merlin replied and they both looked out across the field to see Arthur battering one of the newer knights in a sparring match, “well no, ok, he’s ‘thinking Merlin, king’s don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>brood</span>
  </em>
  <span> it’s not dignified’ but he’s definitely brooding.” He put on his best impression of Arthur and was pleased to see the young knight smile slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean though? Should I be worried? He hasn’t actually said anything to me all week and I’m pretty sure he’s actively avoiding me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not going to kill you,” Merlin said surely, “banishment maybe but if he was going to have you executed he’d have done it already. Besides, he doesn’t actually know about your magic, just the druid part so that definitely works in your favour. If it makes you feel any better he’s trying to avoid me too, as much as is possible anyway. I think he’s annoyed that I didn’t tell him but in my defence I wasn’t intentionally keeping secrets this time, I genuinely thought he knew.” He turned to look at Mordred, “I am sorry Mordred, I never wanted to put you in this position.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok, it’s not your fault and I assumed he knew too. Both you and Morgana recognised me after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes but Morgana and I have something Arthur doesn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure how magic would help with that-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant a longer memory than a fruit fly but that too I suppose.” Mordred shook his head as he let out a snort of laughter. They both watched as Arthur bested his opponent and uncharacteristically stalked off the field without critiquing the younger knight’s form. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The atmosphere in the castle had been tense this week, everyone could tell that the king was distracted by something. He was snapping at people for the slightest thing and completely exhausting his knights on the training field without providing any feedback on their technique. Whilst those more familiar with him were more than comfortable telling Arthur where to shove his training routine when it got too much (in fact Gwaine seemed to take delight in it) the younger knights were taking a hammering. However the person taking the brunt of his frustrations was, of course, Merlin. It was much harder for Arthur to avoid him with his new role, previously if he wanted him out of the way for some reason he would give him a chore list a mile long that would keep him far away from wherever Arthur was going to be. Now though Merlin just delegated those tasks to servants and still popped up in the next meeting much to Arthur’s continued frustration. Merlin knew better than to push him to talk about it, he knew Arthur’s moods better than the man himself did and this was one of those cases where it was better to wait and let him start the conversation eventually, which is exactly what happened after nine days of brooding - sorry, “thinking”. Merlin arrived to pick up the basket of dirty laundry he’d left in the king’s chambers earlier so he could drop it off on his way to the kitchen to fetch Arthur’s dinner only to find the table already set with food for two.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sit,” Arthur said, pointing to one of the chairs as he sat in the other one. Merlin did as instructed and picked up the jug on the table to pour them each a goblet of wine without speaking - he sensed he was going to need it tonight. “I’ve been thinking,” Arthur said after a few minutes, sending Merlin a look as if daring him to make some comment but Merlin just took a mouthful of food to stop himself, “and I have a… paradox.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a big word,” Merlin muttered with a smirk but Arthur ignored him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Magic is evil, I know that,” Arthur continued and looked to Merlin as if for confirmation who instead took a sip of wine to avoid answering, “however, I also know that Jessica is not evil. Do you agree?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure it’s possible to be evil at six years old.” Merlin said carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly, but for one of those statements to be true the other must be false.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see your paradox.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Another example, Mordred,” Merlin was focussing very hard on looking like he didn’t feel that his heart was about to beat out of his chest, “is a knight, he has saved my life multiple times, if I am to believe that he is morally corrupt then it would bring the intentions of every knight into question. Because I have been given no solid reason not to trust Mordred and yet I find myself questioning him, therefore I should question all those in the ranks.” Merlin nodded to show he understood, “However I also know that as a druid he would have been raised to follow the old religion and - regardless of whether that involves him practicing magic because I can’t even begin to factor that possibility in yet - I have always been taught that the old religion stands against all that is good and just in the world. So Mordred cannot possibly be both, he cannot be a true knight and follow the old religion. But it would appear that is the case.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I take it this is what’s had you snapping at everyone from chambermaids to Leon this week?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The two sides don’t match up, they can’t match up. Magic is evil, but Jessica is not. The old religion corrupts but Mordred still has integrity. I have, of course, considered that maybe they have simply not succumbed to the dark influence yet but Mordred has been a druid since he was a child, surely that is more than enough time for him to be twisted? Jessic is still young enough that magic may not have turned her but if we are to believe that those that choose magic do so because they crave power then we must question why a child would possess any talent at all. One so young would not make that choice so how did she end up in my dungeons? So I need a second opinion, Merlin,” Arthur paused and waited until Merlin met his eyes, “what do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re - you’re asking for my opinion?” Merlin stuttered trying not to betray the storm of emotions he was feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is your job now isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes I suppose,” Merlin cleared his throat, “but on magic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not? You give your opinion on everything else regardless of whether you’re qualified or whether I want to hear it, I don’t see why this is any different. What do you think about magic, Merlin?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- umm,” Merlin faulted and took a deep breath as he felt his heart beating a bruise on his ribcage and his stomach drop out of his body. Was this it? Was this </span>
  <em>
    <span>the </span>
  </em>
  <span>moment? Could he finally come clean and tell Arthur everything he’d ever wanted him to know? For a fleeting moment Merlin believed it might be but then he remembered this was the longest conversation they’d had in a week and all because Arthur believed he had kept a secret from him regarding Mordred’s identity, the time just wasn’t right. Because Arthur was wrestling with the notion of good and evil as if they were black and white and Merlin had no idea what that meant in terms of some of the acts he’d committed in service to Camelot. Because if he told Arthur now he’d have to tell him everything, and whilst he believed that on balance he had done more good than bad he still wasn’t sure Arthur would agree when he heard of the dragon, or Dragoon, or Morgana, or any number of other things. Because if he told him now it just might push him over the edge forever. Because he was selfish and he cherished the fact that Arthur had even wanted to come to him with this and he wasn’t ready to relinquish that trust. However, he still needed to answer. But with one look at Arthur’s face he knew he couldn’t. The way he was looking at him, open and trusting with such conviction that Merlin would help him make the right decisions for the right reasons, that look alone nearly knocked the air from his lungs. If he told Arthur what he really thought of magic then he would believe him, he knew this in his bones. He knew that if he took this chance to tell him that magic was not inherently evil, that the old religion was based on peace and balance then the words would sink in. Because he was finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally,</span>
  </em>
  <span> being listened to and even asked for his opinion but there was no way he could answer truthfully. Because if he did all that, if he used that influence only for Arthur to discover his bias later down the line? Merlin had been reasonably confident for a while now that when the time came his magic would be accepted, he was on the fence still about whether the lies and the secrets would be forgiven and this was why he was still yet to say anything. But he was absolutely certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that if he manipulated his friend like this then they would break in a way that could not be fixed. In that moment there was nothing he wanted more than to tell Arthur everything but once again he clamped down on that urge and prepared to lie through his teeth, and as always he felt another small part of him wither at the prospect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merlin?” Arthur prompted when he hesitated to answer. Merlin took a deep breath and steeled himself, avoiding the other man’s gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t,” he said simply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t have this conversation,” he said, bringing his head up to make eye contact, “I can’t Arthur, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-” Arthur frowned as Merlin stood up and walked towards the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll send someone else to attend you tonight - not George I promise - I just umm- I have to go. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merlin,” something about Arthur’s tone made Merlin freeze with his hand on the door, “I thought this is what you wanted? You’ve never shied away from giving your opinion on something before but now I ask for it and you refuse?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arthur-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No it’s fine, you can go. I know you’re scared of magic Merlin but I’m still disappointed.” That was it, that was enough to break his resolve. He couldn’t walk away from a comment like that, even if he couldn’t say everything he wanted to he couldn’t leave that challenge unanswered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scared?” Merlin wheeled round, “what makes you think I’m scared of magic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you always act like this when it comes up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not- I’m not,” Merlin struggled for words before taking a deep breath and walking back over to stand in front of the king, “I’m not scared of magic, I never have been. Which is precisely why I’m scared of talking about it.” Arthur frowned in confusion but didn’t interrupt, “I think you forget that I didn’t grow up in Camelot, whilst Essetir is still wary of it  - especially near the border - it wasn’t outlawed. We had travelling sorcerers and druids pass through on occasion and whilst they might’ve been treated with some suspicion they weren’t arrested and they certainly weren’t executed. Unless of course a patrol from the other side of the border was passing, because apparently helping with bandit attacks in another kingdom is too politically charged for Camelot but sending knights across the border to hunt down sorcerers is fair game.” Merlin hadn’t even realised until now how much bitterness he had been holding at the contrast between Uther’s pursuit of his father across the border and into Ealdor and his refusal to help with Kanen. “You forget, as well, about Will.” Merlin did feel a little guilty about bringing this up as Will had been about as magical as a slug but he figured that in the situation his friend probably wouldn’t have minded, “Why the hell would I be scared of magic when I grew up so close to it?” Technically not a lie Merlin reasoned to himself, “You have spent years taking every opportunity to remind me of how evil it is including but not limited to at </span>
  <em>
    <span>my best friend’s funeral</span>
  </em>
  <span> but now I’m the one that’s scared? Magic doesn’t scare me, but being asked to talk about it in a kingdom where I’m not absolutely convinced that I won’t still be arrested for even thinking any of this? That terrifies me Arthur. So forgive me if I’m a little uncomfortable when the </span>
  <em>
    <span>king of Camelot </span>
  </em>
  <span> asks me for my opinion on the subject when if you had actually stopped to think about it for even a moment you would realise that you don’t need me to tell you what my thoughts are on the matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t even think-” Arthur muttered looking a little stunned at Merlin’s outburst.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Clearly.” Merlin deadpanned, “I’ll make sure to send someone else in on my way out.” He said, finally taking his leave before he said something he would really regret. He only got halfway down the corridor before he had to stop and lean on a wall to collect himself, his whole body was shaking and he couldn’t focus on one thought. The conversation was replaying over and over again as he picked apart and over analysed every word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merlin?” a soft voice broke through his thoughts, he looked up to see Gwen looking at him with concern, “Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” He hummed not processing her question for a moment before schooling his face into what he hoped was a reassuring smile, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you looked a bit… stressed?” Maybe not as reassuring as he had hoped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m ok Gwen, honestly. Just tired, I think I need to head home for the night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought Arthur said he wanted to discuss something with you tonight?” Oh so the prat had given Gwen a heads up about their conversation but decided just to spring it on Merlin with no warning? Actually that didn’t even surprise him at this point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes he did, and we did. I’ve just left actually.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he’s working you too hard you have to say something Merlin,” Gwen said kindly, stepping forward and placing a hand on his arm, “I know you have a lot more responsibilities now but you’ll make yourself ill. Honestly you’d both work yourselves to exhaustion if no one stopped you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really am fine, being able to hand off the stables or get other people to carry Arthur’s bathwater is doing wonders for my back actually.” He gave her a genuine smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do realise you were never meant to do those things in the first place, right?” She gave him an amused look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes well no one ever told me that!” He said in mock outrage, “I really appreciate the concern though but you don’t need to worry about me, we both know I’d be the first person to tell Arthur if he was asking for too much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you wouldn’t.” She said knowingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No probably not,” he admitted, “but how about if I promise to come and moan about it to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deal,” she laughed, “now go home and rest you look like you’re about to keel over, I’ll have the steward send someone else up for the night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh I was just going to head to his office now and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you’re not, you’re going home. I’m perfectly capable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope you’re not about to argue with the queen Merlin,” she said jokingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no fine, I’m going, I’m going,”  he held up his hands in defeat, “thank you.” he said sincerely. Truth was he did feel a little calmer after their interaction even if his mind was still racing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In fact his thoughts didn’t stop all night, Merlin tossed and turned until eventually falling into a fitful sleep around an hour before dawn. Given that he was so lightly asleep it was not a surprise that it only took the tinkling of glass breaking in the next room to wake him a few hours later. He lay in bed, wide awake and frozen still listening intently until he heard soft footsteps, there was someone there. He rose quietly and moved over to the door between the rooms without a sound, picking up the knife he kept on the dresser as he went. He cracked open the door and instantly felt the tension drain from his body when he spotted a familiar blond figure picking up the remnants of a broken bottle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you breaking my things?” He said as he pushed leant on the doorframe, Arthur whirled round when he spoke trying not to look guilty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he said, and then after a pause, “it fell.” Merlin raised his eyebrows in an uncanny impression of his mentor, “Oh don’t act like you haven’t broken things of mine hundreds of times over.” Arthur rolled his eyes as he dumped the small pile of broken glass on a table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes but I’m also the one that fixes them when I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok alright, I’ll buy you a new one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here anyway?” Merlin said with a yawn as he scrubbed sleep from his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could ask you the same thing, it’s mid-morning and you still haven’t shown up for work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s- what?” Merlin moved to look at the sky out of the window “Oh. I overslept.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can see that,” Arthur said surveying his sleep clothes with a critical eye, “This is ridiculous I can’t be seen having to come and find you every morning it’s not dignified, you need to move back to the castle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not every morning and no I don’t, I like it here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Arthur gave the room a skeptical look, admittedly it was not as fine as what he was used to but for Merlin it was the nicest place he’d ever lived.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes actually so you can’t make me move.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m the king.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my land, do you know how feudalism works?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously I do but I thought you’d know better than to evict me </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Arthur had the good sense to look guilty at that, “Well I’m up now anyway so mission accomplished.” Merlin said as he made his way back to the bedroom to get dressed for the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Merlin,” Arthur said in his I’m-being-serious-now voice as he came to stand in the doorway, “last night-” he faltered, “do you really think I’d have you arrested for sharing your opinion after I’d asked for it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no of course I don’t it’s just-” Merlin sighed, “when your father was alive, living with Gaius I would see all the times he would ask for his council only to turn to threats when he didn’t like what he heard, and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>you’re not your father,” he continued as Arthur opened his mouth to interrupt, “but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still remember how different Camelot used to be, how different </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> used to be. Especially on this subject.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know he did that,” Arthur said softly, talking to himself as much as Merlin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean you didn’t know.” Arthur nodded at this because he was right, he may not have seen it happen but it didn’t surprise him in the slightest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I ask your opinion Merlin it’s because I want it, I rely on you to tell me what I need to hear even if I don’t want to. You don’t ever have to worry about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t I?” Merlin asked and Arthur almost winced as his mind seemed to produce memories of every time he had ever dismissed something Merlin told him just because he didn’t want to believe it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anymore, you don’t have to worry about that anymore,” he corrected, “come on I thought we were past this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are, you’re right, but old habits die hard I guess.” Merlin said with a shrug as he wrapped his scarf around his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t consider that it might be an uncomfortable topic for you to discuss, it is easy to forget you didn’t grow up in Camelot sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine I think even I forget on occasion at this point.” Merlin said as he shrugged his jacket on, “you should probably tell Mordred you’re not going to have him executed by the way, he keeps flinching when a guard walks past him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah yes, Mordred. You know we still haven’t talked about how you kept that from me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not my fault you’re oblivious,” Merlin muttered as they left the house and began to walk back towards the castle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have to think of a suitable punishment, maybe a relocation?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious, I’m really not moving.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh but you really, really are.” Arthur said with a smirk that told Merlin he’d been beaten. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Some chapters are a real battle to write but some just flow so nicely and this was very much the latter, I felt like I blinked and suddenly the first 2000 words were just there. I think I've come to realise I just like writing angsty introspective Merlin that goes on rants.</p><p>Who is shocked this update is during daytime on a weekday and not the middle of the night at a weekend because I am. I've got a few one-shots that I'm working on at the moment (one I have been adding to off and on for weeks because it's really dark and I just want to make sure I get it absolutely right) as I have over 40 fic ideas in my notes and I have just been adding to them without writing them so I need to get that number down because it's just stressing me out but I'm really excited about the next few chapters of this so I'm hoping I'll be able to add more soon!</p><p>Thanks for reading, stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Step One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Arthur begins to make changes to certain laws.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merlin had to admit, his new chambers were a lot more convenient than the house in the lower town. He’d been set up in rooms not dissimilar to Gaius’ on the first floor of one of the towers. On one side there were several workbenches already strewn with assorted papers that needed his attention, his physician’s equipment, and pieces of armour and clothing sent from the king for cleaning and mending. On the other side there was a bed more comfortable than any he’d had in his life, a fireplace for warmth and cooking, a table with chairs that was designed for dining at but was somehow - and Merlin had no idea when or how it had happened - already covered in clutter, and a wardrobe. With the help of magic he’d even managed to wiggle a stone loose from the wall beneath his bed to hide his less-than-legal possessions. He was much closer to everything here meaning that not only could he allow himself more time in bed in the morning but it was much easier to keep an eye on what was happening in the castle, and it was nice to be near to his friends again. Arthur had been right there were a lot of benefits to being moved to the castle and for that reason alone Merlin hated it. Except not really, he’d just never say it out loud to the prat. </p><p>This morning however he was still running late despite his new proximity. It wasn’t that he’d overslept this time - in fact he’d barely slept at all - but that he just didn’t want to get out of bed at all. He knew what was on the agenda for the day and was resisting even starting it. Today was the day Arthur would begin talks in council about easing the restrictions on magic. Which, of course, Merlin was ecstatic about. He couldn’t even begin to put into words the overwhelming joy and pride he felt when Arthur had told him his plans but every time he thought of it there was an awful undercurrent of dread. </p><p>It had been a month since Arthur had found out about Mordred and every day Merlin could see his views slowly changing as he began to try and apply some rational thought to the current laws on the subject (and the very concept of someone - anyone - in Camelot thinking about magic with even a small amount of logic was gloriously refreshing in itself). Under all of this though it meant that every day Merlin kept the truth from him was another day that he was lying for what felt like increasingly selfish reasons. When Arthur had been a prince then of course he couldn’t tell him, not only to save his own neck but because he couldn’t put that burden on him by asking him to choose between Merlin and his father. Then after the coronation how was Merlin meant to tell him? When he thought that magic, that <em> Merlin,</em> had killed his father? No. He had a responsibility to the magical people to choose the right moment so as not to push Arthur away from the path towards lifting the ban and that was most definitely not the right moment. After that things had been so hectic it was just never the right time. Between settling into his new role and fending off Morgana’s continued attempts to take Camelot (again) Arthur just had too much on his plate to deal with. Merlin wasn’t about to add to his stress by giving him another problem. He was meant to help provide solutions to the problems Arthur faced not create them; it wouldn’t have been fair. But now? Now he was reconsidering his views under his own initiative and Merlin had absolutely no justification for withholding the truth. He tried to convince himself that he was doing it because if he told Arthur now then it would either hurt him so much that he would go back on his decision to make changes or it would put too much pressure on him to push the changes through faster but he knew this wasn’t the case. A month ago when he had first started questioning the laws this might have been true; his position on magic was too fragile to risk any damage done by the betrayal that he would surely feel, but now? Merlin knew Arthur better than anyone. He was a good man that would do what he thought was right not for the sake of one person but purely because it was right, even if he did know of Merlin’s magic he wouldn’t be doing it for him but for all his people. He knew that he had enough strength in his convictions now that he no longer believed that magic was defined by the minority of users that had worked against him and therefore his plans wouldn’t be tainted by another betrayal. In short, Arthur would continue with his plans whether his reaction was good or bad (and Merlin suspected it would be somewhere in the middle) which meant that there really was absolutely nothing that should keep him from coming clean. So why couldn’t he bring himself to say something?</p><p>Instead he said nothing. Not only did he not tell Arthur the truth but he kept to his decision not to influence the king’s thoughts about magic. Arthur tried to get an opinion out of him a few more times but ultimately seemed to respect that he didn’t want to discuss it and instead turned his questions to Gaius and, on a couple of occasions, Mordred. The latter stinging a little more than he would like to admit. Both had told Merlin they thought he was being ridiculous on separate occasions and that it was him that should be advising Arthur about this regardless of whether he knew about his magic or not but he stuck to his decision. If he was honest he knew the real reason he continued to keep his secret. His new position seemed to have changed more for the king than it had for Merlin; it was as he had finally given himself permission to stop pretending they weren’t friends and openly show that he valued Merlin as more than a servant. Though he thought it was selfish Merlin just couldn’t find it in him to give that up, which is what he knew would happen the second he told the truth. How do you tell your best friend you’ve been lying to them from the day you met?</p><p>So he lay in bed and stared at the ceiling as the noise of the citadel was replaced with the quiet of the night, and he stayed there until the sounds began to return with the break of dawn. He knew he was late arriving with the king’s breakfast but he was still surprised to see him awake and sat at his desk when he pushed into the room without knocking.</p><p>“Rise and sh- oh,” his customary wakeup call fell short. “You’re up.”</p><p>“Nothing gets past you Merlin,” Arthur said, scrubbing a hand over his eyes.</p><p>“You look terrible,” he said as he placed the breakfast tray on the table. “Did you sleep at all?”</p><p>“Yes,” Arthur said. Merlin looked between him and the bed which was still made from the previous day. “No.”</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re so worried about, it’s not like you’re making a huge change today - eat.” He nodded to the plate that he moved from the table to in front of Arthur. “You might get some pushback but I doubt anyone will find it too offensive.”</p><p>“No I know, that’s not what I’m worried about.” Arthur picked up a grape and looked at it but put it down without actually eating anything. Merlin waited for him to continue. </p><p>“Am I doing the right thing?” Arthur said eventually, looking up from the plate to make eye contact.</p><p>“You’re a good king Arthur, I’m sure you’re doing what you believe is right.” Merlin avoided the question.</p><p>“Merlin-” Arthur sighed without finishing his sentence, he didn’t need to. Merlin recognised this mood; he already knew the answer to his question he just needed to hear it vocalised. Usually by Merlin.</p><p>“You’re doing the right thing,” he said quietly, relenting a small amount. Arthur nodded and then picked at his food for a few minutes without really eating any of it as Merlin pottered around tidying things that didn’t really need it.</p><p>“Come on then you better dress me before you make us both even later.”</p><p>“Me?” Merlin held his hand to his chest in mock outrage.</p><p>“Yes you,” Arthur stood up. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you were late, you look as rough as I feel.”</p><p>“Mmm,” Merlin hummed, “still better looking than you though.”</p><p>“That’s treason Merlin.”</p><p>“Not treason if it’s true.”</p><p>“Yes it is.”</p><p>“Ah! So you admit it’s true?”</p><p>“Merlin!”</p><p>Merlin was sure that the council meeting had probably opened in much the same way in any other, small talk, an overview of the minutes from the last meeting, and the agenda for this one, but he didn’t hear any of it over his own pulse. He clearly wasn’t doing as well as he thought at hiding how he was feeling if the looks that Lancelot was shooting him were anything to go buy.</p><p>“For the main topic on our agenda today,” Arthur’s voice dragged him into reality, “there is a legislative change I wish to discuss. Before I begin let me make it clear, this is a change I intend to make. I am not opening the floor to whether or not this change is needed but instead I want to begin the discussion on how we should approach this. It has come to my attention that there are some aspects of our laws that are… less than fair. ” Merlin glanced around the table to see the expressions were a mixture of apprehension and curiosity. It was unusual for Arthur to be so hardline and he could see some people were wondering what this meant. Arthur took a breath to steady himself before continuing. “As it stands currently, any person who aids a sorcerer in any way must be punished by execution.” Muttering broke out around the table at the mention of the laws on magic. “I’ve been considering this rule recently and it doesn’t quite sit right with me. Have we not all, at some point or another, mistaken someone that practices magic for someone that does not? As far as I’m aware there are no outward signs that someone is a sorcerer - Gaius you confirmed this for me correct?” </p><p>“Yes that’s quite right sire, whilst some druids bear tattoos that are sigils of the old religion not all those that practise sorcery do. Most keep them hidden even if they do have a tattoo.” Gaius replied.</p><p>“I don’t see why the people should live in fear of simply interacting with a stranger just on the off chance that they practice magic. This law would have a barkeeper executed merely for doing their job the same as they would any other day.”</p><p>“These are not points that your father overlooked my lord,” Lord Gibson was the first to speak. “But he concluded that whilst some may think the law too harsh, the risk that the perpetrator was corrupted by magic is just too great.”</p><p>“Would you consider me to be corrupted by magic Lord Gibson?” Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow. Merlin frowned, wondering where he was going with this.</p><p>“No my lord” Gibson said carefully.</p><p>“And yet, I was unaware that I was living under the same roof as a sorceress for years.” Merlin winced at the implication, the argument made sense but bringing up Morgana perhaps wasn’t the best method of persuasion.</p><p>“That might be true, sire, but are we to assume that the average commoner would be as resilient as you?” Lord Pendry said. Merlin rolled his eyes, sycophant he thought - perhaps too loudly judging by Mordred’s poorly hidden smirk.</p><p>“Perhaps, but I’m not the only one in the castle. What about all of the staff?”</p><p>“Are you suggesting that we should execute all the staff, my lord?” Lord Roberts asked in shock.</p><p>“What? No of course not!” Arthur said. “I’m saying that that is what the law would have us do, but obviously that’s out of the question.”</p><p>“But what of those that aid the sorcerer intentionally? Surely you can’t be suggesting that they’re allowed to walk free.”</p><p>“Well, no, but consider it like any other crime. Someone found to have aided a thief in their crimes is duly punished, someone found to have sold the thief a loaf of bread is of course not even questioned. Should the same not apply to sorcerers?” Merlin ducked his head in an attempt to stop himself beaming with pride. It wasn’t a full repeal of the ban, granted, but it was so much more than the Arthur he had met on his first day in Camelot would have even considered and the fact that he had reached this point mostly alone just showed exactly how much he had grown since then. At this point he’d really take what he could get in terms of changes to the laws on magic and he sincerely doubted the rest of the council could handle a bigger step anyway. Whilst he may not have made his intentions clear yet Merlin doubted that he intended to stop here. </p><p>“Well I think it makes sense,” Gwaine said casually, “I don’t see how executing people just for showing a stranger some kindness is fair.”</p><p>“Anything that would cause less seems like a good idea to me,” Gwen said. “Everyone here knows what happened to my father, if the law were different he might still be with us.” Elyan laid a comforting hand on hers from his seat next to her and nodded in agreement.</p><p>The council dissolved into discussions about the matter, everyone had an opinion on it  - this was Camelot after all - but steadily most people seemed to come around to the opinion that no matter how much they might dislike it there was no denying that the king’s suggestion made sense. </p><p>“Merlin,” Pendry drawled leaning forward, “you’re all too keen to share your thoughts most of the time, surely you’re not going to hold out on us on this?” Merlin raised an eyebrow wondering what exactly he was hoping to get out of this.</p><p>“I support whatever the king thinks is best,” he said coolly. </p><p>“Oh please,” Pendry rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Sorry to disappoint but I’m not exactly an expert on magic,” Merlin pointedly ignored the looks that Gaius, Mordred and Lancelot all gave him at that statement.</p><p>Eventually the meeting drew to a close, most were in agreement that the changes to the legislation could be drawn up by Geoffrey and those that still stood against it had been outvoted. Merlin caught Pendry and Roberts sharing a look as they left and made a mental note to keep an eye on them.</p><p>Merlin barely had time to dwell on the events of the meeting for the rest of the day, Camelot was hosting a tournament in less than a week and despite the fact that he wasn’t technically a servant anymore he still didn’t dare say no to the steward when he had that harried look in his eye. He had no idea why they were hosting a tournament but at this point he’d stopped asking, it was probably just to celebrate it being Tuesday or something. It was as he was carrying what felt like far more bunting than any kingdom could possibly need out to the tournament grounds much later that he caught the tail end of a conversation up ahead.</p><p>“-Uther would never have stood for this.” It sounded like Lord Roberts. He’d been in charge of the treasury for so long that Merlin thought he might have actually been around for the invention of modern currency but that made him firmly one of Uther’s men, he’d never really stopped viewing Arthur as the child he used to be. Merlin ducked into an alcove, it sounded like the other men were standing just around the corner and he didn’t want to risk running straight into them.</p><p>“Well clearly the king is far more influenced by his commoner friends than those of us from families of proven loyalty,” Merlin wasn’t surprised to hear Pendry, he’d recognise that smug tone anywhere at this point.</p><p>“Sounds like he might need reminding who he should be putting his trust in.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t it be a shame if one of those commoner knights was caught cheating in the tournament this week?”</p><p>“Such a shame and yet so utterly unsurprising, and the queen’s brother no less!” Merlin ground his teeth in anger at Roberts’ mock-mournful tone as he resisted the urge to reveal himself and call them out on their plans there and then.</p><p>“Leave it with me,” Pendry said. Merlin heard their footsteps departing with one of them heading in his direction. He muttered a quick perception spell and sank deeper into the alcove; it wouldn’t make him invisible but it should make him unnoticeable to anyone that wasn’t directly looking for him and if there was one thing he could rely on from a man like Pendry it was that he wouldn’t spare anyone he thought to be a servant even a passing glance.</p><p>“I need to talk to you,” Merlin burst into the royal chambers without knocking a few minutes later to find the king and queen eating dinner. </p><p>“I know everyone’s excited about the tournament Merlin but I draw the line at letting you decorate my chambers with bunting,” Arthur said.</p><p>“What?” Merlin frowned and then remembered he was still carrying miles of the stuff. He dropped it unceremoniously in the corner of the room. “No obviously I’m not doing that, you have too much stuff already.”</p><p>“I do not-”</p><p>“You’ve got a whole castle to fill with stuff I don’t see why you have to put it all in here. I mean really do you forget what your own crest looks like that often?” He gestured to a shield hanging on the wall.</p><p>“<em> Mer</em>lin-” Arthur began, ignoring Gwen’s badly hidden giggles.</p><p>“You’re right, not why I’m here. Lords Roberts and Pendry intend to frame Elyan for cheating in the tournament.”</p><p>“They what?!” Gwen said.</p><p>“How do you know?” Arthur asked. Merlin relayed the conversation he had overheard and by the end of it both royals looked just as angry as he had felt when he first heard it. “Well obviously they’ll have to be dealt with, I can’t expect the people to accept these changes to the law whilst there’s infighting on the council. They’ve all had more than enough time to get used to having people not born of noble blood in the court and this sort of behaviour only proves that nobility is not always an inherited trait.”</p><p>“I know that it’s only my word against theirs but - wait, you believe me?” Merlin said, sounding shocked. </p><p>“Of course I do, should I not?”</p><p>“No. I mean yes! Of course you should just… I’m still getting used to it.”</p><p>“I’ll talk to them in the morning,” Arthur said.</p><p>“Actually maybe I should deal with it,” Gwen said. “If they already suspect you of favouring certain people-”</p><p>“I favour those that have personally proven their loyalty with actions, not those only at court by virtue of their birth.”</p><p>“Even so, you’d only be proving their point and therefore giving them more ammunition to undermine you in future.” Gwen finished.</p><p>“I’m not sure,” Merlin said, “if their issue is with people that have been raised up from commoners they might not listen to you.”</p><p>“Well then it’s a good thing I’m not actually going to mention their plan, isn’t it?” She sighed at the confused frowns the two men gave her. “What I mean to say is, have you heard the rumour about the noble lady that’s fallen pregnant out of wedlock? Lord Pendry’s sister no less!” She said pointedly.</p><p>“Your plan is to blackmail them?” Arthur asked.</p><p>“No of course not, I’m the queen Arthur I don’t blackmail people. I just… let them know that they’re in my thoughts. As a kindness.”</p><p>“I never knew you were so...” Merlin trailed off. </p><p>“Cunning,” Arthur supplied.</p><p>“Oh don’t look so surprised. You lot may sort out grievance by bashing each other around with a sword but this is how the ladies of the court function, what you call cunning dear husband is very much the average for them.”</p><p>“But since when did you do that?” the king asked.</p><p>“I may not be noble blood but I’ve been at court for just as long as most of them have been and if there was one thing Lady Morgana was good at-”</p><p>“Murder.”</p><p>“Treason.” Merlin and Arthur said at the same time.</p><p>“Yours is better, if she was any good at murder we’d all be dead.” Merlin conceded.</p><p>“<em> Court politics, </em>” Gwen interrupted. “I may not like to do it but I learnt from the best really.”</p><p>“It’s not a bad plan,” Merlin said slowly.</p><p>“Would that really be enough to stop them?” Arthur looked sceptical.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Gwen shrugged. “But I do know why the Roberts family don’t keep pigs on their estates anymore, only sheep.”</p><p>“His younger brother was deathly allergic wasn’t he?” Arthur said.</p><p>“Oh no, quite the opposite. He liked the pigs a little <em> too </em>much if you know what I mean.” Gwen wiggled her eyebrows with a smirk.</p><p>“Oh that is disgusting,” Merlin shook his head. Arthur looked at the remains of his pork on the plate in front of him and pushed it away.</p><p>“I suppose it’s worth a shot, if that sort of thing really works as well as you say?” Arthur said.</p><p>“You do know the real reason Lord Fullton pays that stipend to Sir Higgins don’t you?” They both shook their heads. “It’s nothing to do with the grain yield percentage of their lands or whatever it is they put on paper, it’s so that Lady Higgins doesn’t introduce Lady Fullton to Lord Fullton’s mistress. It works.”</p><p>“I didn’t even know he had a mistress,” Arthur said.</p><p>“About ninety percent of the men in your court have a mistress Arthur.” </p><p>“<em> Ninety? </em>”</p><p>“So how did you find out about Roberts’ brother anyway?” Merlin took a seat and leaned forward conspiratorially. </p><p>“I’m still friends with his wife’s maid,” Gwen pushed her plate towards him so he could take a tomato. “It’s what Lord Barrett’s wife said at tea yesterday that I really wanted to tell you about though-”</p><p>Arthur tuned out as they started gossiping, trying to figure out which of the men in his court <em> weren’t </em>likely to have taken a mistress. Ninety seemed awfully high.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter... I don't know. I started off pretty strong and was really enjoying writing it but honestly? I don't know how happy I am with how it turned out. I'd been putting off writing it because I knew what I wanted to happen I was just struggling to visualise how to get there. In the end I didn't even know what I'd change to make it something I'm happier with so I think I'm just being a bit overcritical and I need to publish and move on. Not my best, not my worst. It happens I guess.</p><p>I seriously headcanon Gwen as such a political powerhouse though that knows basically every secret in the court and exactly how to use them. This isn't totally in line with what we saw of her as queen in the show I know but then there were literally never any other ladies in court when she was queen and honestly seasons 4 and 5 did her character dirty anyway so I'm playing the artistic license card on that one.</p><p>Hope everyone's keeping well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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